Husband and me had been relaxing all morning by the pool on Friday morning, away from every other living being, minding our own business, as were the other pool users. There were a couple of other people at the pool, well spread out, lots of space and the vast majority of sunbeds were unoccupied - definitely masses of space.
I was swimming in the lovely pool, or wallowing as husband likes to say. He was laid sunbathing.
A lady flounced up to the bed next to my husband, threw her items on the bed and flounced across to the bar. Spotting this from the other side of the pool I wondered why she'd chosen that particular bed instead of one of the many others, When I go to the pool alone I don't usually choose a bed next to an apparently unaccompanied man, so wondering what her plan was I decided to make my presence known, and returned back to my sun lounger.
Husband said, "Here we go!... Gonna be bother!" nodding at the flouncing lady and lit his cigarette. "Don't be mean - maybe she felt safer sat next to a big strong man like you in this dangerous 5* world class hotel" I joked. I laid down on my back and swiftly set about snoring gently.
(No health/anti-social rants please, smoking was allowed and we were deliberately away from every-one else).
Moments later I was rudely woken by the Bar-man, actually the young man was trying to whisper: the Husband was not.
"Please Ma'am, Sir, the Lady ( flouncer) is allergic to smoking , it makes her ill - please can you move over there? I'm so sorry." He was obviously highly embarrassed to be asking.
"Not a chance! No way! Plenty of other space's were she can avoid my smoke!" replied my ever tactful husband.
Apparently Miss Flouncy had oicked herself up and flounced back to the Bar after he lit his cigarette and requested the staff to instruct us (please remember, she had quite deliberately choosen the sun lounger next to my husband at a pool with many empty beds) to stop smoking. I quickly cottoned on and also refused to move. We had been there all morning, she had chosen to sit right next to my husband, in all that space. I was a bit cross really " No, absolutely not!" I said loudly enough to be heard. I pointed out the above and the fact that smoking was permitted at the pool, in an outdoor space. I was polite but to the point.
Now you can argue one way or another about whose behaviour is inappropriate but there is a punch line to Miss Flouncy...
Five minutes later, she upped and flounced around the pool to her friend on the other side. and sat face to face with her, chatting away , no more than 2 feet apart. Friend lit up cigarette, Miss Flouncy stayed... nothing happened... no obvious allergic reaction, no coughing and choking, no rash no fainting...nothing. In fact she stayed there with her puffing friend for a least another three fags!
Now I think you'd actually call that a Miracle - because apparently, incredibly, obviously divinely, her dreadful allergy that required our immediate removal, had absolutely gone! So you see miracles do happen!
PS. Hope Miss Flouncy doesn't come to a pool near you anytime soon ;-)